Stephen Colbert Attempts to Communicate With President Obama Via Microwave

In the days since Donald Trump accused President Obama of wiretapping the Trump Tower during the 2016 presidential race, the 45th Commander in Chief still hasn’t been able to come up with any evidence to corroborate his series of statements made on Twitter:

“Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my ‘wires tapped’ in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!”

Nobody’s really quite sure what Nothing found means, unless of course those two words can be taken at face value in reference to the fact that literally nothing has been found concerning these allegations.

While it’s no surprise that these accusations are troubling, they’re especially problematic for a couple of Trump’s staff members, who are having a little difficulty spinning this information and hoping it’ll die out and be overshadowed by a number of other scandals surrounding the White House, but no such luck. Press Secretary Sean Spicer gave it his best shot by saying that just because the president said, “wires tapped,” he didn’t necessarily mean “wiretapping.” Apparently, words don’t mean a whole lot anymore and can be redefined to suit the current administration’s needs. And if Spicer’s ramblings weren’t enough, senior adviser Kellyanne Conway, aka @KellyannePolls, decided to hit the talk show circuit and attempt to explain how her boss’s statements actually hold some water, that is, in a land full of sieves.

While speaking to a columnist at the Bergen County Record, Kellyanne offered up a bit of information regarding some sneaky surveillance tactics: “What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other.” She proceeded to say that phones and televisions can be used by the government to spy on people, but then she added a highly unlikely appliance to that list: “Microwaves that turn into cameras.” Excuse me? “We know this is a fact of modern life.” Conway’s facts, so to speak, don’t necessarily coincide with reality as we know it.

Later, on CNN, Kellyanne relayed some more factual information by saying that, like her boss, she can’t be held accountable for the words that slip out of her mouth: “I’m not Inspector Gadget…and I’m not in the business of having evidence.”

But Conway seems to have at least one civilian supporter, Stephen Colbert, who demonstrated on his own TV show that President Obama is using microwaves to spy on the public. When Colbert walked over to the I spy microwave during his Late Show monologue, he pulled his Hot Pocket out of the oven while looking back into it and said, “I miss you.” Obama has yet to respond to Colbert’s term of endearment.