Mitch McConnell Crams Entire Senate Healthcare Bill Into Mouth As Democrat Walks Past

Mitch McConnell Crams Entire Senate Healthcare Bill Into Mouth As Democrat Walks Past

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is leading the charge on re-writing the Senate version of the healthcare bill previously passed in the House. But the Kentucky Senator has been so secretive about the bill that it is starting to approach mythical proportions. Some on Capitol Hill are beginning to wonder if his intention is to simply jam the bill through prior to the Independence Day recess. Senate Democrats have not seen hide nor hair of the bill leading them to ponder where the bill might be hiding.

Witnesses did observe the Senator becoming quite flustered when confronted by a Democratic colleague about the possibility of a meeting about the bill. His cheeks were strangely distended during the interaction. He grunted several times and pointed in the direction of a conference room but seemed unable to articulate words due to something in his mouth.

Closer to press time, Senator McConnell could be seen in his office removing globs of paper from his mouth that had been torn from a binder in haste. Although the pages were largely unreadable, they indicated that 10 million more people would be insured under his version of the bill.

Going to such extremes to hide the text of the health care bill is not surprising considering that he accused Democrats of the same act in 2009 and 2010 with Obamacare. It turns out that not even fellow Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky has seen the bill yet. During a committee meeting, Senator Orrin Hatch had to be reminded by a Senate staffer that this bill hasn’t even had a hearing yet when prompted by a Democratic colleague.

The Bill hasn’t been scored by the CBO either. McConnell’s desperation to hide the bill from prying eyes may also contribute to its secret status especially if it is lower than the House Bill. Despite Mitch McConnell’s liking for health care bill sandwiches, however, the contents of this bill are destined to come out regardless of his efforts.