Church can get a little bit boring, but Mrs. Jones was tired of her husband falling asleep every Sunday, so she turned to the minister for some advice. She told the minister what was happening and asked what she should do. Unfortunately, the minister didn’t have too much advice to offer her, but he did present her with an idea that might make her husband stop sleeping in church. The minister handed Mrs. Jones a hatpin and told her that he would signal her with a nod when to poke her husband as he slept.
During the minister’s sermon, he noticed that Mr. Jones had nodded off, so he decided to put his plan into action by signaling to Mrs. Jones. Neither of them knew what to expect from Mr. Jones, but the results were priceless.
“And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?” the minister said as he nodded at Mrs. Jones. Once Mr. Jones was poked, he screamed, “Jesus!” The next time Mr. Jones dozed off, the minister said, “Who is your redeemer?” as he nodded at Mrs. Jones again. This time, Mr. Jones shouted “God!”
You would think Mr. Jones would have learned his lesson at this point, but he didn’t. He fell asleep one more time. “And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?” asked the minister. This time, the minister had not nodded at Mrs. Jones, but she thought he did, so she poked her husband again.
“You stick that goddammed thing in me one more time and I’ll break it off and shove it up you’re a**!!!!” shouted Mr. Jones.